You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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