Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar

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(732): i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar http://tfl.nu/z6xf

Replies (9) Good night (3264) Bad night (817)
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(540): View more from Virginia

It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.

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(540): It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic. http://tfl.nu/37md

Replies (5) Good night (929) Bad night (2669)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted

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(610): Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/q55a

Replies (11) Good night (5572) Bad night (2388)
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(253): View more from Washington

The pine trees are waving at me.

(907): View more from Alaska

Put the pipe down honey.

(253): View more from Washington

Hi trees.

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(253): The pine trees are waving at me. (907): Put the pipe down honey. (253): Hi trees. http://tfl.nu/6b23

Replies (17) Good night (8143) Bad night (1669)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.

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(413): They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket. http://tfl.nu/y613

Replies (23) Good night (4621) Bad night (2433)
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(415): View more from California

All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk

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(415): All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk http://tfl.nu/vf88

Replies (2) Good night (1854) Bad night (1167)
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(210): View more from Texas

Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad

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(210): Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad http://tfl.nu/hc4q

Replies (9) Good night (3883) Bad night (1231)
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(281): View more from Texas

WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!

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(281): WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?! http://tfl.nu/4ghk

Replies (20) Good night (2915) Bad night (4727)
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(315): View more from New York

Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.

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(315): Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife. http://tfl.nu/jnj1

Replies (7) Good night (3024) Bad night (781)
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(480): View more from Arizona

you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...

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(480): you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future... http://tfl.nu/18be

Replies (5) Good night (1659) Bad night (1137)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.

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(580): Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service. http://tfl.nu/46gk

Replies (7) Good night (1638) Bad night (572)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.

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(501): gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable. http://tfl.nu/22ca

Replies (21) Good night (4104) Bad night (1110)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.

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(812): Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding. http://tfl.nu/ofow

Replies (16) Good night (2331) Bad night (790)
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(419): View more from Ohio

you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there

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(419): you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there http://tfl.nu/8eig

Replies (0) Good night (291) Bad night (472)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face

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(505): People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face http://tfl.nu/xc5y

Replies (3) Good night (633) Bad night (229)

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