The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream