Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face

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  (630): Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face http://tfl.nu/tdg0
  Replies (28) Good night (3165) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction

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  (202): Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion (202): He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction http://tfl.nu/lcwv
  Replies (60) Good night (855) Bad night (5375)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo

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  (978): She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo http://tfl.nu/4j6u
  Replies (22) Good night (8310) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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  (414): I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets http://tfl.nu/vdn6
  Replies (14) Good night (1152) Bad night (3908)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.

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  (734): By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on. http://tfl.nu/k86o
  Replies (5) Good night (938) Bad night (3256)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn

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  (970): It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn http://tfl.nu/hfv3
  Replies (17) Good night (1267) Bad night (3475)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...

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  (903): I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth... http://tfl.nu/u93t
  Replies (7) Good night (2545) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.

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  (918): We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it. http://tfl.nu/eha8
  Replies (6) Good night (2872) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj

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  (914): I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj http://tfl.nu/ijru
  Replies (5) Good night (1479) Bad night (508)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.

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  (816): I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me. http://tfl.nu/6mnq
  Replies (7) Good night (571) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.

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  (415): The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican. http://tfl.nu/ke0b
  Replies (9) Good night (1338) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Heroically.

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  (262): Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night? (505): Heroically. http://tfl.nu/ycud
  Replies (3) Good night (1119) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?

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  (216): so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare? http://tfl.nu/vgfv
  Replies (3) Good night (668) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.

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  (678): Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila. http://tfl.nu/o7tf
  Replies (0) Good night (658) Bad night (256)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone

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  (513): You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone http://tfl.nu/l9nc
  Replies (0) Good night (179) Bad night (615)

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