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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you come get me at the bar

  (301): View more from Maryland

  ill be there in 10 min

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  can we stop off at build a bear on the way home

  Fav 37 10036 1145

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.

  Fav 47 14581 1793

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing

  Fav 29 3621 4838

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.

  Fav 22 5948 1202

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (305): View more from Florida

  He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.

  Fav 310 11731 6045

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.

  Fav 5 4050 1277

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day

  Fav 9 1185 2359

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.

  Fav 4 2953 909

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.

  Fav 5 1271 638

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.

  Fav 4 2091 808

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.

  Fav 2 1204 1083

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.

  Fav 4 1331 541

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• (206): View more from Washington

  That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.

  Fav 4 1158 570

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• (435): View more from Utah

  I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.

  Fav 3 516 383

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.

  Fav 2 609 362

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