i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
