dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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