i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Alive.
So much puke
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
