Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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