whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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