Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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