You really coming over, don't trick.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
