I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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