So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
