this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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