You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
it glows. i had to have it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
