I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
