guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
