About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
