absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize