Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
