tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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