Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
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her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
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I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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