I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You are a genius and a whore.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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