dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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