There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He has the fingertips of a God
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