it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
