I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
This toilet bowl is my home.
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