I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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