She's JV to your varsity
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
