His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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