He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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