well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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