He had one of those small greek statue penises
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
