so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
