Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
