I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
