Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
