What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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