Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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