I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
40s are totally the cure
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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