Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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