i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
