Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
