Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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