Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
