We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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