thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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