so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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