Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
worst night to have a conscience
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
