Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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