Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
