oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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