it wasn't lemon gatorade
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
