Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
