Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
