Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
