four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
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He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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