I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize