New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I am one with the molecules
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
