I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
